End of the year poem

Tough Transitions
Author's Note: It's the end of the year, and next year, I'm off to high school. I wrote this poem to show my thoughts on this transition.

What seemed so long went so fast

Weeks after weeks

All have blown away

You've made the best you could of this year

And now the thought of it ending hurts

This end bring you to a new beginning

A fresh start not far away

You know you can always visit your past

But are afraid the future will fill up your time

What if it's to hard?

What if  you never see the friends you've come to know?

Will this beginning tear away at what you love?

Each day feels longer

The time is approaching

So much lies ahead, but many amazing things drag you back to your past

The door opens up ahead, ready for you

But you still are figuring out if you're ready

Past or future?

Middle school or high school?

But do you really have a choice?

DWA Poem

At this moment

At this moment….everything is happening

At this moment, life is blooming

At this moment, death is creeping out of the shadows

At this moment, friends are laughing uncontrollably at the thought of an old memory

At this moment, someone is weeping where no one can see or notice

At this moment, marriages are sparking and celebrations are taking place

At this moment, divorce has started and once happy families tragically separate

At this moment, excitement spreads contagiously around, those with the disease thinking of their future

At this moment, depression and angry fill and overflow poor souls, leaving them helpless to its power

At this moment, goodness reaches new heights

At this moment, evil digs deeper and deeper trenches

At this moment….

DWA Essay

Trying to Change

Author's Note:This piece is for the District writing assessment  and I wrote it for a score in text analysis.

            Changing is a curse. But why do we try to change? People change to feel better about themselves. People change to impress others around them. Bernice does both of these. In “Bernice Bobs her Hair”, Bernice changes for popularity,  like in our society today and in different stories.

            The whole transformation of change started when Marjorie started criticizing Bernice. “No; for instance, you never take care of your eyebrows. They're black and lustrous, but by leaving them straggly they're a blemish. They'd be beautiful if you'd take care of them in one-tenth the time you take doing nothing.” In our society today, there are these kinds of girls. The “popular” girls. The ones that have evolved to new heights of perfection and always look at themselves as what the rest of us wish we could be. Marjorie tries to put herself above everyone else, by taking advantage of people and insulting them. Like when Bernice asks if her dress was ok, Marjorie just says “I didn't hint anything," said Marjorie succinctly. "I said, as I remember, that it was better to wear a becoming dress three times straight than to alternate it with two frights." Sadly this is what really happens today. Bernice changes because she sees herself with many flaws.

       Fitzgerald does a fantastic job of showing both viewpoints. For example, when Bernice first started to change, she’s not really sure about the idea. Later, she realizes that people like the way she’s changed and are beginning to accept her. But from Marjorie’s view of things, this is all a game. Find the “sad birds” in the crowd and dance with them to spark some attention. But isn’t this what people do today? Try to get attention? Of course! People just like having the spotlight on them, to feel like everyone is focused on them. But Bernice’s main way of attracting attention is saying that she’s considering bobbing her hair. “Do you think I ought to bob my hair, Mr. Charley Paulson?... Because I'm considering it. It's such a sure and easy way of attracting attention." is a frequently used quote of hers. And she even admits that she's just doing it for the attention. As the story progresses, Bernice seeks for popularity almost as much as Marjorie does.

      This sort of seeking for attention occurs in other stories like Stargirl and Ten miles past Normal. In Stargirl, Leo changes Stargirl to make her look cooler and fit in more. But soon she really tries to gain back her popularity. At one point, she's not even Stargirl anymore, she's completely different. In Ten miles past Normal,  Janie has always been a farm girl. She seems to slip into the background. When she decides to join the rock band, her reputation completely changes. Soon she realizes that her friend Monster is making her get attention. Both of these stories have someone who is trying to change for the attention.

     To conclude, this attention grabber is found in a lot of things, our society and our stories. Bernice’s new change may have gotten attention, but in the end it backfires. When she really bobs her hair, she understands that the change didn’t help with her image, it just covered up the real her.Trying to change for attention and popularity never ends up working, it just disguises yourself. 

Hemingway Story/ Short movie Analyse

Missing the Importance
Author's Note: We read "A clean, Well-lighted place" by Ernest Hemingway and watched the short movie about it in class. 

             Two waiters, one old man. In the story, these waiters are working at a bar, but there is one customer left that won't leave. The story really plays on light vs. dark, with the old man in the shadow of a tree and the waiters sort of in the light. We learn later that the younger, rushed waiter is really the light while the older waiter is the dark. The story has this feeling of trying to stay in the light.
             But the short movie a little different. In the movie, the old man is directly in the light. The whole idea of the old man being in the shadow was to make it look like he was trying to escape the darkness. The fact that he was completely in the light made it seem like he was ok, that  nothing was wrong. Also in the movie, they dragged out the part with the old man finally leaving. I sort of liked that because it had him almost disappearing in the darkness, which is what he was trying to avoid by going to the cafe. 
              The last part of the short movie was nothing like that movie. The gurgled  "nothing, nothing, nothing" part at the end was really annoying, but it made sense since all those people were in the dark. In the story, the older waiter gets a coffee because he wants to stay awake. As he says, "I am one of those who doesn't what to go to bed." But in the movie, he just gets some wine or something. I think the movie didn't really catch that the coffee was important. Overall, the short movie missed some of the important details of the story.

Stories Response

Mirror Reflection
Author's Note: In class, we read the two Hemingway stories "Indian Camp" and "A Clean, Well-lighted place". This is just a quick response on what I thought of the stories.

   Before even looking at his stories, we researched Ernest Hemingway. His life was full of action and adventure, but when it came down to it, he was just a man living in darkness. Suicide was part of his life, and of course his own death. His writing reflects this. The story "Indian Camp" is about a Indian woman who is giving birth, but her husband kills himself. The screams of his wife probably pulls him over the edge. This might have been how Hemingway lived, always hearing the screams. Feeling all the pressure of life pushing on him. In his story "A clean, well-lighted place", it is all about the light and the darkness in different people. Some people, like the old man, are stuck in the middle of these different worlds. By the end of the story, you realize the older waiter who hangs in the light also feels the dark. He may seem like an ok person, but on the inside there something darker. Ernest Hemingway reflects his own life and feelings in his writing. Reflects them like a mirror.

Poem O_O

Thoughts and Loneliness

Author's Note: We all have those classes, those classes with none of our friends. I wrote this because of the awkwardness of that class.

"She never talks"

Why?

Why would you say that?

Maybe

Maybe you should consider the facts…

Consider…

That I don't want to talk to you

That I am stuck in this awful class

Where none of my friends are here

I'm stuck

As far as "new friends"

I don't like the people here

They don't seem to like me

Consider…

That you all think you're so cool

You have stupid conversations

Over me

So I sit in the corner

Avoiding all of your eyes

I roll my eyes when you can't see

I mumble about you under my breathe

I am filled with relief when I finally get to leave

Consider….

That I'm just annoyed

As if a hated this class enough

Now these morons are here

They don't understand

How I feel

To be trapped like this

To have to come here every day

To have turn my shoulder to you

And use my hand to shield me from your dragon's fire gaze

Wouldn't that annoy you?

Maybe I feel trapped here

In my separate cage

Maybe you aren't

As AMAZING as you think you are

Because while you talk and laugh

I try not to scream

But what would happen if I screamed?

Would you notice?

Would you look at me weird?

Would you ask what's wrong?

Reading this, you might think, Let it go

But how can I?

It's every day

It's on my last nerve

So maybe I will "move on"

But I'll never forget

So I'll sit here

In my bubble of thoughts and loneness

Waiting for the bell to set me free

Symbolism Essay

The Dark, Dying Death
Author's Note: This essay is for my goal for idea development.

     The cold, bitter death; its feeling sweeps through everything. The awful feeling of not knowing what to do or say when death comes. When someone dies, part of you dies too. Wait, they left something behind, something dark behind. In the books Fever and Thirteen Reasons Why, the people who die leave something dark behind, as a reminder of their awful death.
      What the dead leave behind is the black liquid. It splatters everywhere, and even when the body is removed, it's still there. Waiting till it is scrubbed away. But how can you remove black from a white sheet? You can't. The death is always lingering. In Fever, this is actually what happens when yellow fever spreads. Thousands of souls leave behind their mark. It even smells of death, as described by the book.Emotions are left too. Mourning and misery leave Philadelphia in a ghostly gloom. The memories, like the black liquid, can not be scrubbed completely away. Mattie remembers some of the people who passed away in the fever, including her heroic grandfather. By just remembering these people, it makes them impossible to forget.
      A girl who killed herself leaves tapes. All have a story, one on each side. Tapes look sort of eerie, black and mysterious. You never know what you're going to hear until you press play. In Thirteen Reasons Why, Hannah Baker makes these tapes right before her death. They are passed around to people on Hannah's list, and when Clay listens to them, the words can never be erased. Like the black liquid, they probably will never be completely scrubbed away. But these tapes have a meaning, not just to make people suffer. To remember. To know why she left. To know what she had been thinking all this time. I mean, if you kill yourself, you wouldn't want people saying "Yeah, that girl was just plain crazy." No, you want them to understand through the dark tapes. Clay understand completely; during that one night, he is listening, regretting, crying, shaking, vomiting. Remembering. As the feeling goes through, he understand all the mistakes he made by not helping this girl feel....alive. So when she is dead, he follows her dead footprints around town to feel her there. To imagine her there. To remember her there.
      Both Fever and Thirteen Reasons Why have awful deaths that occur. That shouldn't have occurred. But in a way, the dead find a way to keep moving on. To be remembered and never be erased. Remembered by  their dark death. Even the people who survived the fever or listened to a dead girl's tapes still feel the suffering of those that have passed. They are never erased, but the people impacted by this still find a way to keep going on. They find a way to get past the dark, dying death.

Awesome Poem

Hour of Belief

Author's Note:  I wrote this for our journal. This journal was to write what on your mind; so I wrote about what happened yesterday

Tears falling

Puddles forming

From the melting snow

The bus rides on without a care

People on board

Chatting

Laughing

Separated by seats

Separated from your dying world

That part of your heart

Is ripped out

He hugged her

And not me

The bad news comes

And you sink farther in

Your forehead presses the cold glass

The world outside

Sunny

Bright

The opposite of your emotions

The secret

The one you have held in forever

Finally

You talk it through

Through tears

Falling again

Through the tears

Belief

That you can get over him

That you can go on missing it

That you can do this

You walk home

Kicking the frozen bits

A guy walks by

You hide your face

To hide the tears

To hide the saddness

You think of the change

In this last hour

Hour of Sadness

Hour of Belief

Random Poem :)

One day...
Author's Note: Ok, this is a really weird poem (I love how I just start with that :) ). Anyway, I was just having mixed emotions and I just felt like I needed to write something.

One day
One day the sun is shining
Its rays brush gently across your face
You can almost see the happiness in the air
The wind whips gracefully
Painting curves and bumps in the snow
The tiny flakes fall down from heaven
Each shaped in it's own special way
Life is too
And today is perfect
One day all the fire will crash to Earth
The flames dance elegantly
All devil ballerinas
Destroying what lays ahead
Thunder booms like a drum
Lighting splits through the black
White and black collide 
Then red
Life becomes a swirling void 
Leading you nowhere
Dreams become nightmares
Friends become enemies
Life becomes death
The sweet light fades away
You miss it so much
But the worst part is that you never even know it
Don't cry
One day the light will return
One day....

Point of View: Response & Creative Piece

The Other Half of the Heart

Author's note: For my point of view piece, I decided to analysis the song "Jar of hearts" by Christina Perri. 

         Pain. The pain of breaking up with someone. That is what this song is really about. In "Jar of Hearts" by Chistina Perri, her point of view is the awful person who broke her heart decides that he wants her back. But she knows that she is smarter than that.
        The way she puts it in the song is that he basically ruined her life, ripped her heart out and then ran away. For example, in the chorus," And who do you think you are, Running around leaving scars,Collecting your jar of hearts, And tearing love apart, You're gonna catch a cold, From the ice inside your soul, Don't come back for me, Who do you think you are?", she's saying how horribly he treated her. How he thought that his actions didn't matter and that she would forget. In these powerful lines, she really gets her point across that "Why should I get back to you, after what you did?"
         But what does the guy think? From the lyrics, it seems like he doesn't think he did anything wrong. Maybe from his point of view he doesn't know how much he hurt her.In the lines "And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore, You lost the love I loved the most.", she says he was kind of clueless, that he doesn't realize that he has lost all her affection. But if he were to say something, I think it would be something like this....

I wasn't one to hurt you,
But you just don't understand.
Why can't you come back to me,
Why can't you hold my hand?

We are a match made in heaven,
Together I want to be.
So why don't you like me anymore?
When I'm trying to be your company.

I loved you once,
And I want to again.
But you try to run from me,
I ask why and you say from back then.

Creative Lizy Story

Lost in the Dark

Author's Note: I wrote this story about my kitty, Lizy.  I also wrote this for my goal in Word choice.

                       

           The bright December moon shone it’s ghostly white rays into the dark forest. She shook, hardly. Lizy felt cold in this dark, mysterious place. It even smelled mysterious, as if thousands of weird creatures were hidden around her, watching her with sinister red eyes. She thought why she had even come here; the back door wasn't closed all the way and she had escaped during the night, just to explore. Now she was lost, scared, horrified.

          But Lizy didn't hate her life, of course not. She had plenty of food (which she loved),  a comfy couch to lay on, fun toys, loving owners. It was the best thing a cat could ever wish for. Before that she was in a cramped cage with other cats in cages around her. Some were kittens always making annoying sounds as they played on the cold metal floor. It was a prison, and if you were lucky, someone might take you away. Back then she wasn't sure which was better, the awful two families that she had previously or being here, in a dark solid box. The memory of meeting the best family ever made her heart shatter. This dark forest had snatched her away from them.

           Now she had lost them. No, I will find them….maybe, Lizy thought, her pads starting to hurt. She felt like she was easy to see here, with her bright white and light brown coat, her chubby sides, her pink collar with a bell. This place looked weird and eerie, especially compared to the nice view that she had pretty much memorized outside the back door. That was her favorite space, on the soft rug, looking outside. She felt as sad as a dark rain cloud.

    Oh what I wouldn’t give to be lounging on the comfy brown chair again, Lizy thought then sighed. She had tried retracing her steps but just got even more lost. Even though her other life as a housecat seemed worlds away, she didn’t give up.

          As she keep walking, she felt more tense with each step. The smallest sounds now frightened her. The air was a black hand, grabbing her and not letting go. Her tail fluffed up twice it’s normal size and her heart beated fast. Then it pretty much stopped at the sight of two eyes staring right at her from above. As they got closer, Lizy backed away slowly, farther and farther till…BUMP..DING. Lizy crashed into a tree causing her bell to shake. The eyes moved into the silky moonlight reveling to be a deer. The deer gave her one glare and walked away, clearly not taking her as a threat.

          Slowly, her heart started beating again. She was still shaking, not just because of the deer, but because it was getting colder. And darker. Some thick clouds covered the moon making the world gloomy. Lizy was blinded. She quickly jumped into a bush. She couldn’t smell anything around except… wait, what is that? Lizy thought. It was a strong smell, a bad smell, nothing that she had ever smelled before. She creeped out of the bush, trying to make little noise. Her pad scratched on something hard. A flat rock? , she puzzled. Whatever it was, it was hard. Lizy moved into the middle of it, careful not go too far, just in case it was a trap. Suddenly she saw two bright lights farther down the “flat rock”. At first, Lizy thought they were lights like the ones in her home. But these were different; they were moving. Or getting bigger. A unfamiliar sound rushed through her ears getting louder, louder, louder. The wind ran up to her and blew threw her fur. The housecat could just barely make out the shadowy outline of it.

          “Um….Hello!” She called, in cat language of course. But the thing didn’t stop, it kept going without a care. Lizy dashed out of the way just before the thing raced past where she was before.

          Out of breathe, Lizy sat there at the edge of the “flat rock”. That thing hadn’t even see her. Maybe it doesn’t have eyes, she thought, for clearly that was the reason. The little chubby cat climbed back into her bush and laid down. It wasn’t super comfy, but it felt safe. She pretended that it was the comfy brown chair at home. She imagined her soft blanket under her instead of the dead branches. She imagined the incredible smells that floated from the food room instead of this wild, evil smell. She imagined her owners petting her to sleep instead of the frozen air that chilled her down to her bones. After finally settling down, her eyelids slowly closed and she fell asleep.

          A rustling noise woke her with a jolt. Her tail fluffed up again and she eyes grew wide. She smelled the air but only smelled a cat. A cat? She would attack this intruder if she had front claws. I could bite, Lizy thought, giving her some hope. But that wouldn’t help much. She couldn’t just run though; the other cat would probably be faster. She couldn’t fight. She couldn’t win.

          When she heard a small paw crunch through the crisp snow, Lizy jumped. It was a awkward jump, where she crashed right into the other cat. She was about to scramble away when she saw glowing amber eyes looking at her, but the cat yelled “Wait!”

          The housecat faced the intruder, immediately knowing who this was. “Oliver!” she growled, thinking of all the times Oliver had gone up to the back door of her home, invading her territory. She had hissed and growled at him like crazy to protect her family. She thought of herself as the mighty lion, with a coat like pure gold, and  the gift of over-whelming strength.  Eventually he left, but Lizy knew that he was just jealous of her loving family, a family which she never wanted to loss.

          “Whoa..” he said in a tone as cool as a fall breeze. “I could help you get home, little pussycat.”

          Lizy sneered “Fine. But don’t call me that.”

          “Whatever, human prisoner.”

          “Stop.” Lizy hissed, feeling the ground grumble as another thing passed by on the flat rock. She stumbled a little at the sound.

          Oliver laughed “Ok, but do I have to carry you home or can you be less lazy and walk.”

          “I’m not lazy” she said and started walking.

          Oliver ran ahead and called behind him “Lazy Lizy!”

          Her fur felt red. She was a rocket, and used all her energy to sprite after Oliver and out of the forest.

***

          The heavenly sunlight crept in on them. By the time morning was there, Lizy’s home came into view. They crossed a flat rock, which Oliver said was safe.

          Lizy was about  to sprite in her house through the slightly open back door, but she stopped herself. “Thanks” Lizy meowed, smiling slightly like the back door.

          “No probably. Wouldn’t want  a silly little kitty like you lost in the forest.” Oliver snickered.

          Lizy ignored his comment and just went inside. The warmth wrapped around her and gave her a big hug. There were her owners, at their table eating food. When one of the younger owners saw her, she said “Oh my gosh! Lizy! There you are!” The owner immediately closed to door and locked it. Then she picked up Lizy and hugged her tight. “Oh you had me worried me sick. I didn’t hear you meowing in the morning for food, and we looked around everywhere! I’ll so glad you came back!” Lizy purred; she was back with her family.

          When Lizy was chowing down her fancy feast, which flooded her nose with its wonderfully familiar smell, Oliver crept up to the door. Normally, Lizy would growl and hiss at him, but she just keep eating. Her owner noticed “Lizy, what the heck? You always yell at him. What changed you?”

          But Lizy just thought with a warm smile across her face, You have no idea just happened to me.